I'm okay alone

A friend from childhood

A friend for life

She was my sister

My counselor

My crutch

Everyday

I talked to her

I always needed her

She needed me

But

Not as much as I thought

I gossiped

I promised

I trusted

Relied

And leaned

I cried

I worried

I learned

From her

What life was like

I lived through

Her…

Until I didn’t

She was gone

She didn’t answer

And she never would

Again

She didn’t say goodbye

She didn’t do a lot of things

And she never will

She died

And I was alone

It’s late at night

I still text her

And I wait

And I hurt

And I

Cry

I am sad

I am angry

But I am mostly scared

She was my sister

My counselor

My safety net

The only one who knew me

And now she was gone

I was left with my thoughts

My anxieties

My insecurities

I was

For the first time

Alone

Days went by

Neither of us changed

I stayed in my room

Afraid of the outside world

Afraid to do anything

Afraid to touch anything

Afraid to Talk to anyone

I was floating without a net

I didn’t know how to cope

I held on so tightly

because I was afraid she would disappear

From my life

From my memory

I was afraid to forget

To move on

It just didn't seem fair!

But I realized something

She is still here

With me

I still possess her strength

I remember her words

I carry her memory

It’s been months

The sadness and anger still remain

But the fear is gone

I live everyday

Without her

And i'm fine

Because I know she would want me to be