Im okay Im fine it's alll in my mind

I've always hated the saying it will be okay because it almost never is.... i tell people that im okay im fine its all in my mind but the truth is thats all just an act.... it always baffled me that people think your okay by the face you put on everyday, a smile can hide a lot of things.... but a lot of the time my smile means someone please notice me, someone please care... please be there but then i tell my self im okay im fine its all just in my mind.... i often wonder how come im so different? Why do the other kids have friends and im here by myself thinking about death...what makes me so strange whats wrong with me i ask myself?? Then i think im okay im fine its all just in my mind... most days i get up and hope when i look in that mirror the face staring back at me isnt my own. i hope i can stop hating myself for just five minutes but then it occurs to me im okay im fine it's all just in my mind! Then my demons come back Wispering in my ears youre not good enough you'll never be good enough, no one needs you no one wants you.... then i realize im okay im fine it's all just in my mind.....but theres a thing about things only being in mind.... it's almost worse them being outside your mind because you cant escape them in you're mind there always there telling you you're not worth it you're not good enough no one likes you....