I'm sorry

The first time that I saw you

You casted your spell

You noticed me out of the few

I thought we'd be forever but only time will tell

A month went by and everything was great

But then you came home drinking

I would send you to bed after you ate

That got me thinking

Not for very long 

Because you told me, I love you 

I thought that side of you was gone

But I loved you too

In the middle of dinner you grabbed the bottle

I was scared and confused

You downed it in no time at all

You tried to make me amused

We got home and I tried so hard

You said you were okay

So I let down my guard

The next morning it was a bouquet 

The carnations were deep

They made a perfect match

A mix of purple and green

I'm still so attached 

You hugged me sorry and I felt the bruise

And three more followed after

It was never just one — they always came in twos

I kept up the laughter

Day after wretched day

An I love you or I'm sorry

I don't know how much more I can take

You start towerin’ over

It's cracked the doctor said

Soon I might have to bid

It's my life over what you say

Next, it won't be my rib

It might be my daughter’s 

I don't want her to see me like this 

Time to learn your new rules

Time for you to take your trip

You’d rather take a dip

You say you’re sorry after every time

But you don’t see it do you? 

The wave of anxieties, antidepressants 

It’s taking over 

I can’t tell anymore

Am I living or just existing?