I'm sorry

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I'm sorry.for the continuous cycle of pain that  was expected, like death, knowing it was coming but having no control over the outcome.for the thunderstorm tears that fell from your eyes, so often that lightning became your sun.for the pain that caused you to compose tragic masterpieces on your arms.for all the moments you spent alone surrounded by barren walls that never ceased to close in on you, when someone should of been in arms reach. I'm sorry for how your mother treated you,The clock in your life glued at midnight,Cinderella life but ten times worse.for the verbal assassin shots fired, aimed at your heart to kill.for all the bomb arguments, that resulted in ground zero fights.for all the times she was absent, when her presence was required.Or the fact that she didn't love you correctly growing up,Who AM I KIDDING, she still doesn't know how to love you.Giving you church hugs, as if you are a stranger she's meeting for the first time.It's a crime, that's committed way too often.Kids having kids, lacking the most important ingredient, the knowledge of showing a child love.  I'm sorry.that your father was, I mean IS a ghost.that your father chose his addictions over being your Dad.It's sad, and it makes me mad at the fact that he, excuse my french, doesn't give a fuck.But from observing the person you've become. You are better off without him. I'm sorry. that  life dealt you cards whichgenerated the idea in your mind that your life wasn't  worth living.Thoughts became actions, and you acted.Thank God you failed, because life without you sure as hell, would be hell-like. I'm sorry. that you lost your mini-me. I'm sure he or she, is looking down on you smiling in admiration of the woman you've grown to BEcome. I'm sorry.for all your bad experiences that I am unaware of.For everyone that should of apologized to you for the harm they caused And for all the horrible things you are comfortable with because that's all you know. But I thought I should let you know.... I am in awe of you,You decided to live.You don't wear your misfortunes on your sleeve but you live in full consciousness of the hardships life can bring.You didn't let your past become you.Well done. 

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