I'm Sorry


I'm sorry that I fit the face of villains.

Villains that have one criteria - white.

I'm sorry that centuries ago someone nameless to us today stole you like you were objects, forced you out like pests and claimed lands never meant to be property.

I'm sorry my skin is light like those greedy, grubby hands that explored your women at night just to spit on them in the morning.

I'm sorry that your languages feel intrusive in my mouth because I cannot round your accents out.

I'm sorry I'm not more cultured.

I apologies for all the times I ignored the questions of what I was mixed with after the first few times because I thought it was to make fun of me.

It didn't matter in the end because I'm always just white.

When I was very young my half-Mexican uncle tried to teach me what little Spanish he knew.

We started with 'Abuela'.

I couldn't get it right then but now I can and I'd never tell anyone else that.

All I can think is in their judgmental voices; 'Look at the white girl trying to be cool'.

Before I moved to the West side city I lived in the South side country and there the black neighbour lady, whose daughter was my best friend, braided my hair into cornrows and it hurt...bad...really fricking bad.

Then later found out it was a miracle because I've got the thinnest hair imaginable and to this day I think that woman had to have used magic.

I'm sorry that instead of 'you got me fucked up', I'd rather tell you that 'you're mistaken'.

And I'm sorry that makes me less in a world where increased melanin is "cool" but still oppressed.

I'm sorry that you can't understand that white does not equal money,take it from my tired father the poor man.

I'm sorry my eyes aren't slanted enough for you to see the Chinese beauty passed down to me.

I'm sorry you can't see past a color.

It saddens me you can't take your own advice.

Stop feeding the stereotypes.

I know the injustice is there.

My ancesters were bound too.

I know that this world isn't fair.

But it doesn't matter what piece of land you stand on.

The fact remains the same and I think you should remember.

When I straighten my back and enunciate my words and don't settle for anything but my best; I'm just another white bitch with an entitled stick up her ass.


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