IM SORRY DAUGHTERS

THIS IS MY APOLOGY 

I’m sorry for thinking me leaving was a better choice ,

I’m sorry for giving you away to your grandparents,

I’m sorry for walking in & out your life ,

I’m sorry for not begin your mother first,

I’m sorry I had you at 14,

I’m sorry I was so young & did you so wrong ,

Sorry for all the mistakes I have made by you ,

Sorry for rising your sisters from birth & not you ,

I’m sorry for giving Zymaira away to Cassandra ,

I’m sorry I let dyft get involved,

I’m sorry I lost all my children at one point and time ,

I’m sorry that y’all had lived with strangers ,

I’m sorry I had to see y’all in a office ,

I’m sorry I lost our home ,

I’m sorry I destroy our family ,

 Wish I would have choose better fathers for you girls ,

Wish I would had got my act together faster ,

Wish I had stop running the streets a long time ago ,

I’m not asking you to understand me ,

I’m not asking you to not be angry,

I’m not telling you how you should feel ,

I’m not blaming you ,

Y’all are my children and I love y’all with everything in me ,

One day we gonna be alright ,

One day we gonna look past all this ,

I just hope it don’t be to late ,

To my daughter dazir you didn’t deserve to not have your mother because of my issues with your grandfather ,

You didn’t deserve not waking up to your mother ,

You didn’t deserve your mother not taking you to the doctors, your first game ,your first praised dance ,

You didn’t deserve to not have me ,

You are more than enough ,

You are my world my 1st born ,

You made me a mother ,

I just wish i could have done better by you ,

I’m here now & I know you scared that I’m gonna leave you ,

I know you scared I’m gonna make a promise & then bounce ,

I know you scared ,

But trust that mommy has learned from her mistakes,

I old everything to you because without you I would have never went back to school ,

Shit I prolly would have never had kids if wasn’t for your beautiful self to come along ,

And showed me real love ,

It’s hurt to know how much I hurt you ,

I don’t expect people to stop bringing it up ,

I don’t expect them to think I’m stay around this time ,

All honesty I don’t expect anything from anyone. 

Because nobody knows how I felt all them years I couldn’t be there ,

All them nights I couldn’t hold you ,

Believe it or not you In Zymaira went thru the same thing ,

My two older kids got it the worst ,

And for that I’m truly sorry. ,

Forgive mommy on your own time ,

Come to me when ready ,

I will not force you I will not make you ,

I will not treat you unfair or unkind ,

My love for y’all is unconditional..

Mommy forgave herself over and over again ,

But until I make things right ,

It wouldn’t change a thing !