I'm Sorry My Love

I wish that I could love you the way that you will some day love me. That sounds a bit shallow but the depth is for you to fall into My heart cannot maintain a liquid form anymore and solids don't have any more room to expand My heart is packed tight. Grab your meat cleaver and your best long loving stares and try to pound the toughness out of it all you want You're not the first one to try, not the first one I endorsed, not the first one to fail My heart was not made to be tender I mean maybe it was but then it changed and it's properties got all muddled and it's not sure what it's supposed to be any more and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to feel anymore So I'll leave that part to you. It's not fair, I know. Love is never fair. Especially when you aren't on the receiving end of it. I wish with all my heart that I could encompass you in a thousand miles of pure unadulterated love But I don't have much left to wish with. I don't know if it's a birth deficiency or a psychological defect But I've never been one to hold hearts in hands without cuffing them too tightly. To love me is suicide I am a freshly sharpened razor blade Love is an unsuspecting wrist And You are a mass of regrets and heart ache all bundled into a bloody carcass in a den of emotional cleaning As a whole we are toxic Only I've already taken the antidote Overdosed on tranquility and trust issues My heart is a lockbox of untapped potential that you have not been granted access to I'm sorry but I can't love you....not the way you deserve Not the way I deserve This love affair was a tragedy long before the death of my emotions Get out while you still can While you're still able bodied and willful minded While you still have your head I'm the black widow of emotions Love is not in my heart and it never has been I never loved you enough to call what we had a has been You will never be my husband Because marriage means commitment, eternal love I'm not even sure I believe in temporary love So I'm sorry my love For not loving you enough For not grasping the definition of love For not being in love Only in mild like