I'm Tired

I'm tired Long days work behind me Cold nights change the fall to winter Awake for 22 hours I am exhausted, yet I cant sleep Im tired What is it keeping me awake? My mind races, thinking about the similar fate that waits for me in the morning Routine is inevitable, there is no escaping I'm tired The clock shows 3:03, how am I not sleeping? Usually my brain shuts off and I slip into tranquility But nostalgia keeps me Locked into this train of thought I think of my friends with new found love Times change, seasons come and go Surly all good things must come to an end Just as every end is the beginning of something new Captivated by the joy of my friends I can't help but reminous of those close to me Family, friends, exes, all streaming threw my mind with exponential force Family is truly the most thing in life Why then hours ago did I miss the chance to see my father? Sure, I just laid in bed, but i could have taken five minutes to see him for 30 What is living without spending it with someone you love? Damn you third wind It is because of you my tirade of hopelessness, nostalgia, and guilt keep me up It is all this that makes me want to cry For joy, sadness, certainty, uncertainty, and madness But I can't, something stops me from tearing up Pride? I cant control the control I have over my emotions I feel cut off, a piece missing Emotions are dying to rationality Yet I say that emotions are apart of humanity They cause physical reactions When being processed Laughing, crying, sighing, yelling, all of these are as natural as nature itself Damn you third wind I pray sweet symphonies take me away and end my misery I'm tired I'm so, so tired