I'm Trying

It wasn't always like this, that I can remember

But now every move is a crime, every word is a weapon.

Scream until it stops, then run. Then they can't penalize

draw a mask on my face and paint a smile, look now they can't recognize,

all the cuts, all the bruises, the marks the scars the spots. 

That's all I've ever learned, that's all they ever notice.

They see what's on the outside, the things that can't be covered in makeup,

but in sweaters, long sleeves. Jeans and hats. This wardrobe - it's now an emotion.

its a costume in a show where I can't call cut...

made for a moment in time where there's nothing but,

flashes of objects and hands, now words...

Tears. stinging into the eyes that could've shown friendship.

Instead it's replaced with pressure, while mines reflect fear.

The crowds yelling, my hearts racing. I'm shaking while they're pacing.

With razors and bottle and with words that were said, 

with solutions being disasters, I might as well be...

i might as well be.