I'm Trying

I am trying. 

I wake up to birds playfully chirping outside my window

and the sun shining through my curtains

I wipe my eyes and reach for a glass of water I had pre-poured last night

I am trying to take care of myself,

and then I remember him and it hurts. 

I hurt. 

But I am trying.

I sit on the edge of my bed and practice concentrating on my breathing,

very carefully coping with the pain in knowing he is gone.

But I am trying.

I sit at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee warming my hands, 

and I think of the blue shade of his eyes. 

But I am trying.

It's the middle of the day and my mind is wandering. 

I wonder what the next girl you love will look like. 

I wonder if you'll tell her that her eyes are prettier than mine.

I wonder if you'll tell her about the way we used to love.

I wonder if she'll know just how lucky she is.

I wonder if she'll cherish your love.

What I'm trying to say here is.. there's a part of my heart that is only going to know

how to love him.

I am doing the best I can to handle his absence, but I am trying. 

I'm trying.