I'm Very Good at Lying

I am a very good lier My friends think it's because I'm an actress That deception is second nature to me, that I think trickery is an art And they're right, I do But I am not a good lier because I am actress I'm a good actress because I'm a lier Everytime I meet someone new, it's an opportunity to create an entirely new persona for myself. I metamorphize into exactly what they want me to be. Because I so badly want someone to love me And it works Until it's two months later and I just put cookies in the oven and the candles are starting to burn out and they look me in the eye and say You've changed. You aren't the girl I knew And I say I haven't changed You just finally saw through So I cut them off Because No one can know that for my entire life, I have calculated and timed every twitch of my lips, every tear, every sway in my hips. And no one can know what happens when you rip off my mask Because behind it all Behind the carefully constructed character I've created There's nothing There's nothing at all And maybe I lost myself along the way My psyche slipped between the cracks on the sidewalk Or I dropped it because I was in a rush to get somewhere And all I want is to feel again To reach inside my skull and find more than a hastily slapped together personality But I don't know how So I smile And I giggle And I cry And most of the time, no one notices, I get by Because I am a very good lier