Imagine It In Blue

If I was authentic (and I guess I’ll try to be here,

Because this isn’t an assignment and I’m not vying for a grade),

I could tell you anything, like how

My entire life has been an unrequited love affair but

 I’m never sure which side of it I’m on

And I’m just a girl who’s too young to be this tired.

If I was genuine (and I’ll say this because you don’t know me and that feels safer),

 I could tell you about how

I think I’m in love with this boy who tastes like Atlantic salt even though I can’t quite remember the color of his eyes, but I hope it's the one that I like to imagine.

Or even about that time I left everything and stared into the lake all night,

Just to feel what it was like to actually be on the edge, even if it was just a short pier.

If I were honest (and here is as good a place as any to be),

I could admit how scared I am that I might not be authentic,

That I might just be another poem written in the wee hours.

I could whisper to you when I think you’re asleep: I’m afraid of how I don’t rhyme and everyone else does.

If I were to be true with you, I'd tell you about those soft, secret times when no one else is awake and everything is gray and even I'm gray again and thinking about all of my words 

and about how heavy words feel before sunrise. You see, the secret is to look at the gray sky and 

imagine it in blue.