Inability to Trust

How can I be such a fool?

I am

Restricted, limited due to space; contained

Unable to leave from your brutal 

Arms, in which I am still in love with you. 

I don’t want to desire you any longer.

Your arms, is my home, my hiraeth.   

You helped me believe once more

That lonesome and despair does not exist any longer.

You said with me you found happiness.

I believed and trusted you,

But you used me, for comfort.

You made me think everything was fine,

Even when it wasn’t.

All you needed was comfort,

Which I tried to apply

But failed, miserably.

You hid secrets from me,

And decided to harm yourself instead.

And once everything did became ok.

You left.

Left without a reason; nothing.

But soon enough, you reappeared.

Now I look at you and pretend to give a meaningless smile.

To show, that I don’t need you

But in reality, I do.