Indescribable

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 19:24 -- dbenny

Location

91780
United States
34° 5' 53.8656" N, 118° 3' 34.5276" W

She went through her young adult youth
Always feeling so troubled.

She would have her friends at school
She would have her family at home
She practically had it all,
Yet she always felt
That something was missing.

This empty feeling inside her
That she couldn’t quite express
This longing for something,
Yet she didn’t know
What that something was.

She thought to herself
Everything is going well
I have excellent grades
I have most of what I want,
And there’s nothing much else
I could ever ask for,
But why do I still feel uneasy
Why do I still feel this way?

Always keeping it inside
Never bothering anyone else
About her own internal struggles,
She attempted to move past it
Suppressing this feeling
Every time it came up.

As she scrolled
Through her Facebook news feed
And saw the smiles
In every picture that came up
Of her friends and acquaintances
She felt like they were mocking her,
Though she could have easily been
In those pictures and be just as happy

This dark side of her life
Hindered her efforts at achieving
Any ounce of happiness,
It pushed her down.
Every time she tried to get back up
And every single time
It got harder and harder to dust herself off
And try again.

There were also those other
Spontaneous moments
When she would go about her daily routines of life
And such feelings would just come up again,
Unannounced and unneeded.

No matter what time
No matter what place
Such feelings emerged,
And they never ceased to plague her mind

She wondered
As I repeatedly attempt to move past this
And try to go on with my life
As if everything is okay,
Will this ever actually go away?

As I grow older
And progress onto my adult life
Establish a career, settle down, or whatever I desire,
Will I ever be able to find
The remedy to my tragedy
The clarity within my insanity?

Guide that inspired this poem: 

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