Indispensable

I still look 

for you in crowded rooms, 

in that spot in the field 

and in my bedroom

Your love 

that I once gave up,

has never left my mind.

but it pains me to say that in my heart, you are still mine.

I did not 

make you smile 

or read your favorite books,

instead I kissed you every once in a while.

You have

left,

and have left peacefully

and now I have committed theft.

I am a robber,

I have robbed myself from living, 

from loving.

I need you but I know this is unforgiving.

Please, I know

that I did not take you with me 

but you were never left behind, 

because you are all I can see.

Please, I hope

that I can read your favorite books 

and see you smile

when you're writing in your notebooks.

I still look for you

in my heart, 

my soul 

and in my art

And I have learnt,

that to live without you 

without your love,

Live, I can not do