Initiative

Struggle. Pain. Acceptance. Strength. Expect. Understand. Confusion. Reality. Life. Certain things cannot be prevented. Certain situations occur for a reason. I honestly don't know why it happened but it did. I don't know why it happened the way it happened, but it did. Seems like a lot of things happen to me and people claim it happens for a reason. But I still don't know what that reason is. I don’t know why the reason that this happened was the reason is was. I just don’t seem to know anything anymore I don’t seem to catch what’s being thrown at me But you catch my drift. You get my flow No, you don’t. There you go again lying straight to my face. You don’t catch my drift, you don’t get my flow because I’m the only one who knows I’m the only one who goes through these things I’m the only one that has lived my life Don’t sit there and tell me you understand what I’m going through NO ONE understands what I’m going through. No, not him not her not she not it not, you I know this sounds confusing but what I'm really trying to say is that I've been hurt multiple times and I simply continue to ask myself why do certain things like this happen to me. Then I remember that there are other people that have it worse. But frankly I don't really care. I shed tears of strength and hope everything turns out okay. I take initiative at every chance and hopes it goes my way. I put my all in someone who hasn't returned half. Everything counted, the arguments, the outings, and the laughs. I'm so accustomed to being loved and cared for. But now I feel lonely and unable to handle anymore. Anymore of this. I'm done. I'm just going to stop trying. That's what got me here in the first place.