inner me

When you met me I was clean you saw the real me there was no need to pretend to be but I warned you of the monster within me but you stayed despite the warning Our love was heartwarming inseparable no matter the storm and few fights we talk till morning loved with all our might tunnel vision you were my sight everything felt right months went by never gave reasons to cry hold hands while I drive said we will love each other till the day we die I missed you dearly and with you came Haileigh I loved her as if she was my own daughter if she fell I caught her if she was Thirsty id give her my last drop the water family of three happy as can be until the day you found me tunnel vision sight no more needle on the floor back to the monster I warned you about before a few hard slaps to the face came to I’m back at war love slowly crept out the back door lies started form and more and more drops of blood on the bathroom floor random drives to the store but I really needed four more I gave up I gave in I got back in the ring to start another fight I never win back to sin risk to society back to breaking laws being my priority criminal minded no more holding hands while we’re driving because all that’s on my mind is getting high and Dyin why tryin now given reasons for cryin I’m no longer Ryan it’s the monster I told you I wasn’t lying random dollars missing but no longer kissing I’m back on my suicide mission if only I could slit my wrist and bleed out on the floor of her kitchen but I’m only Wishing no courage to end this mission so I reel you along like a coward gone fishin why God why do you allow me to do this I’ve become vindictive and ruthless I leave Mental bruises  conversations went from love to useless and the whole time I think people are clueless when you’re killing yourself you’re also killing others they don’t go under the covers they stay awake their sleep stutters because you don’t eat your full of hunger this is what I did to my lover don’t get me started what i did to my mother...the Message is put the drugs down and remember the love you once had for one another