Inner Rant
I am really done with my mental health.
To me, it's more like Satan's wealth.
Society expects you to be flawless,
Take the world be storm.
How can I do that though when my mind is so freakn' darn worn.
I can't be normal.
I can't be free.
It apparently isn't very obvious that I just want to be me.
Anxiety says that I can't do anything right.
Depression says that I am not at all bright.
I fight with my mind every single day
I try to make a decision but end up in the area that is gray.
How can I care, but then not at all?
It is like my own mind wants me to fall.
I get to a point where I just want to tear myself apart.
A lovely dagger to stab and tear up the heart
Then another stab,
This time to the stomach.
Those are the places that mental illness leaves me a wreck.
Because inside I feel worse than the ogre known as Shrek.
Seven stabs to the left thigh and two to the right.
I just want to get all this anger out with all of my might.
This may not seem smart, but I am not dumb.
This seems to be the only way the pain can be numbed.
Then the time comes that I decide that I am done.
That is when I decide to pick up the gun.
Gun is pointed to my head.
I take out the control center of it all ending all the freakn' pain
Once all is said and done, I then just go to bed
Just so I can wake up to do it all over again.
Jess is so joyful.
Jess is so bubbly.
My gosh if only you realized that my mind is so damn ugly.
My mind is a mess.
What can I say?
Being human, that is apparently the price to pay.
Nobody knows just how much one takes the world by storm.
Because in reality they may be completely torn.
I do believe though that all will turn out okay
That is because the sun keeps coming out to shed yet one more ray.
I know all will work out because Jesus carried the cross.
I know all this because He is my boss.
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