Inner Voices

I feel scared

I feel unprepared

Voices in my head saying, “No one really cares”

It’s wrong.

I got my help a little late.

All I want to do is graduate.

Maybe I am overthinking.

Like a bad hitter, who couldn’t stop blinking.

What happens happens, is supposed to comfort me.

But I feel like I’m locked up and can't find the key

My friends keep saying I no longer smile.

That mark across my face, it's been a while.

Everything is truly fine, nothing new

At the hospital, one more scan or two.

Its funny because to explain I can’t start.

The pain is literally on my heart. 

I’m not a problem, I’m not distressed.

Worried a little, maybe a tiny bit stressed. 

I feel like I just want to hug, to cry,

If I get surgery, would the pain makes me think I would rather die?

I’m stronger than this, I am above it all.

I pull myself up to stand and to be tall.

I am not going to drown again, no fear of the deep.

No fear of pain or my dangerous dreams at night.

I have so many blessings in my life,

Things that help me in my trial is strife.

I guess everything will be okay,

I can stand up and smile one more day.

I have to remember what this is all for.

When God closes a window, he will open a door.