Innocence

One thing that I would change,

would not to be for my life to be re arranged,

from bedtime stories, to a goodnight kiss,

these are the things that I really do miss.

Days go longer, without my father,

I need some touch, some warmth, some sense of a true love,

a taste of masculinity in my female household,

a fathers hand for me to hold.

He didn't know.

He didn't know that I needed him as much as I did,

He didn't know that I was no longer a kid.

The pressures from boys were wrapped all around in my brain,

I know my father wasn't all to blame,

I needed touch,

needed sense,

needed warmth,

I needed my fathers love and support.

I needed to hear

I'm proud of you. 

So I went,

looking for love,

looking for acceptance,

looking for masculinity,

in others beside my father.

That was when I lost my innocence.

If I could change one thing,

It would be that I would realize that a boys lust,

doesn't mean love.