Insecure

Her insecurity clutches her like a chokehold that just barely loosens its grasp enough to let her

breathe.

For a day or two.

With every task she feels its presence looming over her.

The unpleasantly hot breath whispering into her ear saying,

“You’ll never be enough.”

She tries to fight it but can’t find enough validation to give her strength.

She loses her grip.

Attention became a drug she craves constantly because all the love in the world can’t heal the hole in her heart where she finds herself missing.

She starts to feel broken and as her exterior wall of fake confidence slowly chips away,

she finds her emotions start to flood out with each feeling of failure.

Her attempts to contain them collapse and her days become a power struggle just to smile.

She gives love to those who don’t deserve it to feel some type of affection but as she dresses herself in lace looking in the mirror,

she fails to find what makes her desirable.

She wants to be called beautiful and truly feel it.

She wants to look at her reflection and feel thankful for every new day in the body that god blessed her with.

She wants to find her drive to succeed and actually watch her goals pass as she reaches a new one.

So, she wipes her tears, reapplies her red lipstick, and lifts her head up again.

Internally she repeats with each step she takes

“I can do this…I can do this.”