Insecurities

What do you see when you're looking at me? You see a beautiful young lady. When all I see is ugliness. Look deep into my eyes, now tell me what you see. While you see life hidden behind my dark brown eyes, I see nothing, nothing more than eyes. You see someone with a bright future, yet all I see is someone with a dark past. What you see is not what I see. When I look in the mirror all I see is a girl with deep insecurities. Her fat face that she hates, eyes scary as Medusa. There is nothing pretty about her. Her hair too short, her skin too pale. The girl I see is not me. This girl is too fragile, too hurt, too weak. Too far gone to be consoled. The girl I see is a bitch, she's mean as hell. I would never curse or raise my voice to yell. This girl is a hoe. She ran through more dudes than we can both remember. Though she's only been with one, she's searched for love from many. The girl I see is anorexic. When did I stop eating? The girl I see is not me, she is far from perfect. That is not me ! The girl I see has failure written across her forehead. And I am determined to succeed. The girl I see before me the devil and his angels preyed upon/ I am the daughter of Kings of all Kings? So why do I feel so weak? The devil planted this seed and its up to me to no longer manifest it. Today is a new day, I will not go defeated. The girl that I really am sounds like a badass- until she walks past the mirror. She no longer sees herself for who she really is, only for what the devil and her mind allow her to see. Somewhere somebody is laughing at her for being such a dumbs because what she sees- is not what they see.