Insecurities

I've tried to focus on the true purpose of my life Yet I'm constantly entangled with the fact that I'm not good enough Recurring emotions of what could've been, but I knew it couldn't happen. I strive, strive to succeed and survive but initally feel that I'm not built with that capacity. Judging by the mirror, there's no happiness in me. Do I really want to walk away or stay from the shortcomings that befall me? What am I suppose to do when I feel like there's no one to turn to. It's hard to pour out all you believe in because in reality you might think I'm crazy. But honestly, I think I love to hard and it just hasn't gotten me far. I'd love to say that I'm happy most of the time, but what truth does it give me. There is more to life, which I want to experience but I can't. I'm captured. Captured by all the hurts that I known to be and just believing they're coming for me. So let me know.. when is somebody going to love me like I do them. They say they do but their actions speak otherwise. And quite frankly I'm tired of those lies. No more time for me to cry, I'm just ready to fly and free myself from all these insecurities.