Insecurities

I'm fine.

Or at least I will be, 

Is what I tell myself

When my anxiety takes over.

It’s not enough,

I think when i step on the scale,

Begging the number before my eyes

Would somehow magically drop.

Tone it down,

I force myself.

When I laugh too loud,

Drawing the unwanted attention

Of those around me

Nothing will ever be enough

To fit in with this imperfect world.

Slowly I start to fade.

Nobody notices.

Eventually there will be nothing of me

Left worth saving.