Inside the Heart of Me

Real Moment: I sit here looking at pics (like I use to do) and I look at a pic from 21 years ago of me and I cry because I see myself then and now and I've grown of course in many ways though and I wish some ppl were here to see (my grandparents, Aunt Linda, & I have to say my dad) my grandparents and aunt I know are here with me spiritually and I know they know that I will always and forever love them and i miss them so much more than what ppl realize or think I do, and I say my dad because he wasn't there to help raise me I give the credit to my mama Betty Tezeno Francois who did an amazing job and I say that she is a strong woman who I love and I wanna do anything and everything for the person who I dream of having an amazing career that I love and taking care of so that she could live care for of somethings because I fell she have done her job and I need to return that although I could never top what she has already given me the main thing her being blessed with me and giving me life, oh how I wish that my dad were here choosing a life that I've grown to slowing understand has taken over him with the sickness of alcoholism I need him to know I have no hatred in my heart nothing but love, that I have grown into a beautiful woman, who although is missing a piece from her heart from here his love  should have been; daddy I've grown into a beautiful black princess because of a beautiful black queen who have worked two jobs to take care of me but all with the help of family whom I also love, to all who read this is the most opened I have ever been to anyone but one (Mama Linda), me; being a strong opinionated person on the outside who may seem like selfish, stingy, bitchy, an antisocial pessimist, mean, hateful person is nothing but a warm, caring, a little broken, big hearted, positive, loving, shy, bottled up person on the inside who feels a lot of things and is sometime scared to express herself on certain things because is afraid of others feeling or making others feel a certain way and instead of hurting or upsetting them is sacrificing her own feelings because she cares; I think I gonna stop and put this poem to an end, I just wanted to let y'all in but only for a moment, I've had a good cry and now feel as if a weight has been lifted so, goodnight.