Inside My Head

I'll stand here out in the open.

arms wide, stance strong, my thoughts are out on the table

yup, that's me

all me

just me

I'm done hiding, I'm done lying, I'm done hurting

that animal locked inside my head

ripping at my skull

SCREAMING

I want. Her. Gone. now.

those voices that soothed me with darkness

promises of silence

“just take 10 more steps”

And you’ll be free of pain

“just take 9 more steps”

And you won’t have to worry

“just take 8 more steps”

And you’ll never be lonely

“just take 7 more step”

No one will miss you

“just take 6 more steps”

Trust me

"just take 5 more steps"

and confront that steel beast

"just take 4 more steps"

but that's not confrontation

"just take 3 more steps"

that's escaping through a back door

"2 more steps"

left unlocked

"almost there"

in my lonely head

NO!

I'm going to confront it

Head on

but not through death, through life

I’m done screaming inside my head while my mouth stays shut

Done pulling down my sleeves to conceal my hurt

I will tell you

I AM NOT OKAY

but I will get there

with you at my side

the side you never left

I was never truly alone

It was all

inside

my

head