Insipiration

I am there, the walls closing. The lights darkened.

The bad place.

The hospital lights were much different. 

The beds were surprisingly comfortable,

 but as much as I wanted to, I could not allow myself to sleep.

I needed to leave.

My goal.

To leave this place that left me nothing to think of than what I had attempted.

Twelve hours of waiting, talked to the doctor

Thank you to my parents, without them a 3 day stay

With them, a thirteen hour stay.

Back at University, back to my dorm room,

Why is no one talking to me

Why am I being blamed for my lack of mental health

Why am I being called “the boy who cried wolf”

Do they see me?

Do they hear me?

I am there, the walls closing.

Suddenly friendless, Suddenly alone.

Alone at college.

No one to depend on.

I cannot live like this, I cannot allow myself to.

I must pick myself back up.

Patrick was my one friend here.

I cannot let him, or my family, down.

I must live.

I must preserve.

Bury yourself in schoolwork, listen to music, workout.

However you do it, fill your time. 

Fill it until the bad thoughts no longer enter your head,

Watch videos, call loved ones or talk with your roommate at night.

Fill your time.

Advocate for yourself.

Be your own inspiration. Find inspiration in yourself, and if you cannot,

Find it in those around you.

It is there. 

Live.