Interesting Love

Because you love me, 

You stayed true to your roots.

You were so set in your ways, 

And what I saw as a living hell, all my days...

was the best gift I ever received. 

You cussed, you fussed, you screamed, you gleamed, at me,

with a never before seen need, for retribution.

Persistent heartbreaks I had borne, 

Your fables I had scorned,

But not you, no, no, NO!

Never you.

From all I knew, for all I know

I thought you vain,

but failed to realize your pain.

It was always felt,

yet never understood.

Unless, the heartbeat of denial jumps out your chest,

and the coldness of betrayal is fifty below zero, 

or the tingling of isolation finally eats away at your skin;

then your circumstance becomes your muse.

You are wrong for what you have done to me!

But I didn't...

You are nothing of mine!

I'm tell-telling you...

Your tears can't wash this stain away this time!

Do you know how many nights I've cried by you!?!

Yes.

Then, why do you keep doing this to me! 

I'm not.

Why do you HATE me! Have you been planning this?

I don't. You've done too much for me to plot your demolition.

Are you trying to ruin my life!

You could never hurt me enough, for me, to have to, return the favor.

If you hate me so much, then why are you still here?!

Just leave! 

I don't need you, but mark my words, you-will-need- me one day!

You didn't hear the rest.

I kept it from you, and used it for me, because,

If I can love your flaw, while enduring your claw

Why can't you do the same for me.

If I can ignore your aim locked on my heart,

worn proudly on my sleeve day-by-day,

arms tirelessly open for you...

That you still choose to push away.

Why can't you care for me.

If I can ignore you cutting off my truth,

and adding up what you needed to hear,

to get the wrong answer for my intentions.

What more can you take from me!?! 

I was the fool; the idiot.

Because I decided not to trust you.

Because I thought too much of you,

And not enough of myself.

The frail spineless receptacle of a girl, I was,

that molted into the backbone of the woman before you. 

The woman that was built from the ground up, 

by your hand, whether it be clean or dirty,

just to be torn down again.

 Except this time.

This time she was picked back up again, 

by her hand, the hands that meant no harm, to you.

The hands, that were controlled by the mind, which knew,

a little goes a long way,

and an indelible experience goes a lifetime.

The truth. 

It was all you wanted.

The whole-hearted truth.

It was all you hoped for.

The honest to God truth is what you needed, and what you turned down.

So, because I-love​-you,

I, accept, who you are,

You were yourself,

and nothing else.

Now I can do the same, 

and there will be no shame.