Internal Fight

I look in the mirror, I’m silent in my agony.

I visualize my hair being ripped out from my scalp.

My fingernails digging into my hands.

For a moment, I’d almost convince myself that I couldn’t do it.

I couldn’t feel my legs, my hands, or my environment.

Almost as if I was floating towards the surface of the ocean.

Nearly able to reach and grasp the air that lied above me.

Until one day, I turned it around. 

I surrendered and said, simply, “I’ve had enough.” 

I began to do things differently, by viewing life differently. 

I started laughing more, and enjoying the fruit of life.

The sun, the moon, everything in between. 

I was no longer a prisoner in my own body.