Internal Torture

I don't wanna feel these feelings

Or think these thoughts

Everything about me is degraded

And my pride becomes dust

What do you want of me?

Am I here to make you feel good?

Stop provoking me

I couldn't be more misunderstood

I have to live with her you know

The one you taunt

She replays your words everyday

And I can never run

She is the only one

Whom I can never escape

To listen to her is a living hell

To fight with her is a mistake

So please don't tell her anything

For it will all be used against me

After all, she knows me best

And the places where I'm weak

Everyday is the same

I'm reminded of the same words

Maybe today will be the day

When I'm defeated by her sword

Like I said, it's absolute hell

That's why I can't take it

When you say cruel things 

I cannot bear again to be humiliated

She won't let them out of her grasp

No matter how much you pry

This is her purpose 

This is the point of her life

I wish I could injure her

And her flesh be torn by birds

She'd silently lie there

Gone like her vicious words

Alas,

the tragedy is unfortunate though

For if I were to kill her,

I'd have to kill me also

So here we sit 

The bad and the not so bad

As she screams at me

For being the way I am

I hate you! I hate you!

She screams and looks to me in disgust

Why can't you be better?

Why can't you be enough?

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Just please set me free!

I am no match for your strength

physically or mentally

So in the end

I did feel and think

not that I wanted to

but because she made me