Intoxicated, I love you

Once upon a time in a not so distant land

We were the loves of our lives, captured hand in hand.

I could be cliche and say twas love at sight

That would make me a liar and just out of spite.

It was before the break of dawn just about a month in

My face in your neck, upon my head, your rested chin

With blurred vision, sleep plaguing my head

Ran my thumb ‘cross your thigh, my hands heavy lead.

Another day gone, another night spent.

Considering both closed eyes and parted lips

I felt every sensation through trembling fingertips.

Our hearts wild monsters, behind a locked ribcage

Warranted nights of fire, ignited by encased, quiet rage.

In that moment then,  I knew you would.  

We established a sense of urgency when we should’ve paced ourselves.

I was in love. But with what?

Was it the way you threw your head back when you laughed

The way you caressed me in times of pain?

It was your personal gain. Little did I know in the same bed I would lie

Awake and alone, underneath a darkened sky, while you shared the same laugh and the same joyous sigh.

I was another horse in the merry go round, you wanted a ride when the park was shut down.

I could no longer be what I once had been, when my mind took its toll, and life took me for a spin.

What is acceptance, when there is no remembrance of the times we soared in sweet decadence.

I hold this broken bottle, and it makes perfect sense.

I was not for you and you were happy ever since.

A devastating blow as it turns my veins into vessels of 86 proof, as my speech adopts a slur,

My thoughts clear as Swarovski, my mind as fogged as a metro atmosphere

You were the novel in a world learning ABC’s, I was the anti-climatic  sparse moment

Isnt it funny how autumn with you, beautiful and inviting, tis the season of dying.

My trembling grip sends me to the dawn of  silent bliss

My consciousness condenses in the form of droplets sprung upon cheeks that ne'er perceived warmth since that night  consuming me death cold.

I recall how your eyes knew what took place in the realms of the deep vast ocean of thoughts.

That was so distant, or so it seems.

I once craved your touch by any necessary means.

You expect me to sit, alone and undone

Yet here I am rising and I will never sucumb

To your numbing anestethic that you called love

Without you I am soaring high with the doves.