Intuition Ignored

I know I am falling

Scared of what's next.

What if there is nothing to catch me?

Will I hit the ground running,

Or be broken into pieces, a mess.

I've told myself to listen without believing

Kiss without falling in love,

And to leave before I'm left...

But I still don't know if it's better to allow love in

Or simply embrace my loneness.

Because I question why you are letting me in so fast.

Is it because you truly see something in me that you have to have?

That you feel something that you have never felt before?

Or is it because your life without a lover, you can not endure?

Do you swing from girl to girl, like a monkey through the trees?

Every time you meet a beautiful new face, do you just hand her your spare keys?

Do you simply embrace anyone who embraces you back?

Looking for a warm body to fill your bed, no more qualifications then that?

I wonder if I'm different or to you we're all the same.

Just a different history, IQ, level if insanity, and name.

If I'm only here to take on your baggage, distract your mind and ease your pain. 

I am scared to dive in, to later find out it was all a game.