Invisible Insecurity

“I am the one who loves you”

repeats, a loop in my brain,

No one else?

It’s like living on a cliffside

not knowing when you’re going

to dive.

I claw away from the inside

try to smile my way through,

waiting.

The meaning, clear to me but,

dropped, left at that, “I am the one,”

who loves me?

Why isn’t it over? Can’t decide

if it is new torment, or just doubt

transparent.

I am told think past first

emotions, don’t assume intention,

or to know.

I don’t know, I need to know

the meaning from the words;

the one.

Everyone says I’m a failure,

primarily without words, but this

I believe.

You don’t know. What it’s like

to live here, in this place of

suspicion.

“I am the one who loves you”

drums, a mantra in my head,

stifling sanity.