Irony of Loving You

I loved you first with all I had,
You loved me too, or so you said.
But your kind of love never matched mine,
Parallel hearts, never aligned.

You taught me love, or so I thought,
But what lessons were you ever taught?
How can you teach what you do not know,
and still plant seeds that endlessly grow?

I puzzle over how you learned,
Who shaped the way your fire burned?
Your mother gone, your walls grown tall,
Brief stories, fragments, I know them all.

You lost her young, the first you loved,
She left this world; you closed above.
Now loving’s risk you won’t allow,
Afraid to lose, you don’t know how.

She left everyone, not just you,
But when you left, it was just “us two.”
You didn’t leave the world behind,
Only me, now you're hard to find.

I watch you laugh with all your friends,
While here I sit, my patience bends.
I hear your voice, not meant for me,
Your world is closed, I lost the key.

Each day your face, I have to see,
and pretend that you mean nothing to me.
Do you know the ache inside
of loving you, and having to hide?

I gave you all that I could give,
Changed myself, forgot to live.
I tried to fit your perfect mold,
But love can’t be shaped, bought, or sold.