Irreversible

One in three adolescents are victims of cyber bullying. Now I don’t mean to belittle, but i’ve never understand cyber bullying because your eyes are your choice and you can turn away. You can close your eyes, you can block these people from your profile page, but I cannot block my mother. I cannot remove the words she has burned into my brain stem, I cannot hide from her drunken slurs. Her words crumble like coffee cake onto my shoulder and they imprint my clothing and I cannot brush them off like crumbs. 80% of 21 year olds who were abused as a child show signs of at least one psychological disorder, yet at the ripe age of 13, I was treated like a lab rat due to ‘my’ problems. But these were not my problems, I did not cause this and I did not deserve this, these are YOUR problems. Please take them off my chest and stuff them in your wine bottle and maybe them you’ll stop drinking because I don’t think you’ve ever felt the kind of hatred that you tossed in my face like I was some kind of trash shoot. Abuse victims are more likely to practice unsafe sex, abuse victims are 25% more likely to experience teen pregnancy, abuse victims are 58% more likely to be arrested as a juvenile, abuse victims are 28% more likely to be arrested as an adult, abuse victims are 30% more likely to commit a violent crime. I bet you didn’t know the risks you were putting on my shoulders at the 11 and I bet you didn’t care. Maybe you would have, if only you could remember. If only I could pluck these rotting memories from my mind and shove them into your ears, so they can ring like the peal of the wedding bells that meant nothing to you. Maybe then I wouldn’t have tried to empty my veins, similarly to the way you emptied bottles and hid them in my room as if to place the blame on your 12 year old daughter. Maybe then I wouldn’t have tried to pry open my rib cage in attempt to see if my heart was still there. You were the first one to make me hate myself. Are you ashamed? You should be. 

This poem is about: 
My family
Poetry Terms Demonstrated: 

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