This isn't Love

Don’t you dare tell me you love me

I know you don’t.

I have a knot in the pit of my stomach,

I have a feeling that I can’t shake,

Because you loved me…

Because you loved me, I justified every lie you told me

I likened your jealousy to the authentic care I needed.

Because you loved me, I mistakened every kiss you gave me

I likened your manipulation to the advice I didn’t ask for.

“Because I love you, I’m all you need.”

I isolated myself for you,

but failed to realize you had already left me desolate.

You made me lose the trust of everyone near me.

Because you loved me, I stayed in the comfort of intoxication.

I likened your insecurities to the need of reassurance.

Because you loved me, I loved you back.

I likened your fists of fury to caring touches.

“Because I love you, I left.”

I lost myself for you,

But still, I learned to admire the pain in the journey.

You made me ask why my heart ached for someone like you...

Then I realized, “Because I loved you.”

But I love me first.

I have a newfound appreciation for the plummet,

I have another experience, but not a mistake;

Because I know love is imperfect.