Isolated Invalidation

I have so much love to give, but it's always been given out in wrong ways.

It was always something so flawless until it changes, and then it slips away.

You literally might just wake up one morning, and find that nothing is the same.

Maybe they'll decide that they don't love you anymore, but say nothing to your face.

Eventually they might not say anything at all to you, and then when you ask it's:

Oh, I just need my space.

And they'll accuse you of smothering them, but yet you've done nothing wrong.

Nothing is your fault, they just don't know what's going on.

They're not depressed, they're just stressed, they want to end things with you.

You've been so naive, so oblivious to the fact, that, they've been talking bad about you.

To your roommates, and to some online ex from from before,

They don't tell you that how special you are, or how much they love you, anymore.

And then they leave you, and that makes you afraid to love again,

To let someone in, and be more than friends.

Because sometimes relationships are freaking scary,

if they end all you have is a binge on Ben & Jerry,

Despite being lactose intolerant, so never having dairy.

Then you tire of rainy day crying, and I love you being a lie.

After everything they've said, not said, and done, sometimes you want to die.

All the break up fights, always trying to make things right.

All the memories, they weren't fantasies, maybe we just weren't meant to be. 

No matter how much I wanted, I don't think you were right for me.

Still no closure even though its over, you don't seem to care at all.

The only thing in the end that you loved, was watching me fall.

And it's taking time, day by day, I'm beginning to slowly get stronger,

I yearn for the day that you don't cross my mind, and that I don't care, any longer.

Because I love you, should be used for endearment, not control,

You shouldn't feel alone, or empty, together you should feel whole.

Small fights are normal, but don't confuse them with stuff that really hurts,

Otherwise you'll find yourself stuck loving someone, who doesn't know your worth.

You want to be with someone who uplifts you in all ways, and cares,

Not someone who knowingly destroys you, and is the reason for your nightmares.

And true, there's not a perfect person who exists.

But there's more out there than who keeps record of any mistake with their list.

Love is kind, caring, giving, and equal, not functioning around lies.

And love is certainly isn't the thoughts or feelings that you just want to die.

So be careful with whatever partner you choose, you'll always want to guard your heart.

Because if you don't, you'll give them everything, lose yourself, and then you'll fall apart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741