IT

As I try hard not to let ITtake control of my head,some days without warningIT takes all of me instead.Each time IT comes to visitI’m afraid it will showthe ugliness and hatefulnessIT always has in tow.Each time this feeling hits me,inside my head I shout,please stop, I’m scared and go awaynever come back, stay out!I feel as though I’m losing it,falling off the edge.But somehow, someway I manage to just teeter on that edge.My heart starts pounding as my mind races,my thoughts are out of control,I feel as though I’m someone elseand they’re trying to take my soul.

I do and say things I regret, and to myself that’s such a threat.I feel at times that no one truly understands,because even I have questions,and that it’s out of my hands.But with my faith in God, My friends, family and a little care,I feel I have a chance at life,and I know I have a lot to share.God has blessed me in many ways,and I owe my life to Him.He was my rock and guider,when I wanted to give up or in.But that would be giving in to,the IT I feel is sin.Bipolar is a disorder that consumes yourevery thought, and when in thegrasp of ITs strong control,you say things, do things, act in waysyou never thought were possible.The thought of IT having control,is almost an unbearable thought.People just don’t understand,that IT comes and IT goes,when we least expect it.And can cause an otherwisenormal, dare I say, personto sin cause violence and literallylose their mind.But with the right care and medicine,we as the holder of IT,can live a life as close to normal,as we will ever be allowed.Never quit, and never give in or up.