Before It All Starts

Before it all starts

Before you get too attached

Before you dive headfirst into

What may not have a bottom

Make yourself a shield

Out of questions

To ask

To learn

Make him tell the truth

You deserve that much

Tell him to tell you the things

You need

To know

Like what he is

And how he is

And who in the world

He is

Make him tell the truth

Can he love you forever

Or is it a timer

That ticks

And ticks

And you think might be broken

Until

Ding

It’s not you it’s me

I need some space

I need someone else

I need I need

If he needs

And needs

And will not give

Then you will be an empty bag

He’ll say you’re

Unrecyclable

And you will be left to wish you had

Listened when I said you should

Ask him about who he loved

Before you

And if he keeps their numbers

And if he thinks of them at night

And if he types long messages

And never sends them

Or maybe he does

Or maybe he can’t

Maybe one day

You will find out

This was the case all along

And you will be too tired

To tell him to stop

And you will be on broken ships

Drifting opposite directions

Wishing you would just sink already

But don’t get tired

Don’t

Don’t

Don’t

And if you start to

Then fight for a minute

Just one or two

For what you love

And who you love

Because your love must be about him

And his love must be about you

And the foundations of your home

Must be well-kept

And well-loved

And if you grow old with him

Well done

But let yourself grow old

With or without

Him

He is not you

And you are only his

If he is yours

Hold up your shield 

While you ask him these questions

Because for all you know

He might have a sword 

Behind his back

But love is not about fighting

Unless you are fighting for him

And he is fighting for you

If you have fought

With him

For him

And if you still hear the sound

Of a slamming door

And a suitcase rolling down the driveway

Then the problem was never

You

It never was

And don’t tell yourself it was

And don’t let him tell you it was

Because you are not someone

Who deserves a slammed door in their face

You are not someone who is unrecyclable

You deserve more than a broken timer

And a drifting ship

You are good

And lovely

And worthy

And you were

Long before he told you

You were.