It Eats At Me

It eats at me

A constant feeling of wanting something else

An empty hollow deep inside that burnt out pit of desire 

that echoes I don't belong here, this is not what I'm supposed to do with my life

I can wrap my head around what it is in my mind that I see

And I've got the logs in place and a lighter that works perfectly

Still, I just can't seem light that fire. 

But I want it to light so bad that I've run the fluid from my lighter trying and now have to work even harder at achieving that warm cozy flame. Im doing it by hand. Rubbing two sticks together getting blisters on my palms and taping em up to go at it again.

Something more meaningful and most of all

Something to satisfy my deepest desire

I'm stuck here

Everything inside screams at me to do something

But what is it? 

Where do I start?

Is it to late? Will I inevitably just become a lost dreamer? 

Part of me is afraid it took to long to realize the meaning of this feeling and now my age plays a part in my dream that is somehow demeaning

But I gotta pick myself up and move on

Fuck the world and the horse it rode in on

I'm going for it now, I need this feeling gone

I can't take it anymore,

I get it with every song that I hear

and it makes it so clear

That the time to do it is finally here

Im grabbing life by the biscuit and living for today

What have I got to lose, 

I'm miserable right now anyways

My stomach is in knots

Think its the only feeling left that I've got

Its that hunger for something better

A way of life that I almost forgot

Im a prisoner in my own head

Would probably be better off dead 

But I'd rather take a chance and change my life

Than to wallow in my wonder of what I could've been instead