It has been so long

It has been so long since I saw you online. It's been longer since I saw you in person. Yet somehow, your presence via the internet made me almost lose my control. I almost texted you. I almost opened your profile. And I almost, almost reached out. I still worry about how you are doing. I still want to be there with you. But I know you don't want me to. Infact I think I made it pretty clear I need to stay away. I get that this is quite stokerish and obsessive. But for whatever reason I'm still here. Wishing our path crosses at some point and I get to see you one more time. Wishing you'd call me accidentally and I get to hear your voice one more time. Wishing I get to see you from afar, walking hand in hand with someone that knows how to make you smile so that my heart can finally accept that this really is over. But our paths never cross. And maybe they were never meant to cross to begin with. I really hope you are doing okay. I keep thinking to myself that this is probably the time you would need someone the most.... I'm guessing everything is only starting to settle down right now....am guessing your feelings are actually starting to creep out on you right now. I hope your friends are taking care of you, as you have took care of everything for long enough. You're too young to deal with this. But you have to deal with them anyway. I wish I could just hug you one last time. Only this time, I wish I never had to let go. I mean if you ever need a hug.... God knows my words have run dry.