Is it me

Is it me Is it me or the darkness of the world. I am lost, shattered, and incomplete. Funny how I use the word incomplete as if I need something to complete me, well maybe I do but what is it that I need when I myself don't even know what it is that I need. I am sitting in a corner yet the room is full of space, I am so afraid yet I don't know what I am afraid of. So is it me or I'm being tormented, tormented by I don't even know. I fail to speak because of the what ifs, what if I speak when I not meant to, what if I speak what I'm not meant to, what if I speak and it just comes out the wrong way. Will they laugh at me, will they chase me away or will they destroy me for good. So I close my eyes, bend my head on my knees, wrap my arms around my legs and I cry cause thats the only thing I'm good at, thats the only time when I feel like no one is going to judge me because no one will ever see me cry. Cause after that I put a smile on and say I'm okay and they will believe cause they do not care a little to just see behind that fake smile. Now you see is me or I don't belong here. Cause I've cried enough tears not knowing why I'm crying, I've lived with fear not knowing what I'm afraid of, I've been through a lot yet I don't know what I've been through. Sometimes I don't know if I'm going insane or if this is my real life orif its just a dream cause it all just seems same to me. So it it really me or I'll never be accepted...