IT WAS ALWAYS HIM

No matter what was wrong
It was always him
Just the thought of our future
Brought a smile to my tear stained face

I'd always imagine marriage
with him
A cozy apartment to share happy lives intertwined
A boy of our own running with him, playing
I was happy
it was always him

I imagined fighting
Over whose turn it was to do the dishes
Over how he stopped complimenting me
Over subtle differences and major ones
I was happy
it was always him

He was all I wanted for my life
I was in love
With him
With a fantasy future
I continue to romanticize

I used to want all of it
For us
I was in love with him
Now I wish to be in love with him
Because I want all of it
for me