It Wasn't Enough Daddy

You see I've never been the daddy's little girl type .
Because daddy never allowed me to be that type .
To the world he appeared to be the world's greatest father .
Because maybe every now and then he gave my mother a couple of dollars .
But you see that was never enough .
Never enough to give my mother a break .
Mommy worked a thousand  jobs and wore a  million different hats.
And even without my father around if I wanted it better believe I had it .
But that's besides the point .
The point is that daddy never did enough.
Daddy never seen me enough .
Daddy never paid enough .
Daddy never supported me enough .
So to me that translated to daddy never loved me enough .
And when I was young and naive I had to find someone to pin the blame on .
So for a while I blamed myself
Like maybe I was too much to manage
Or maybe I wasn't good enough .
And mommy was always so apologetic .
Daddy never had time for dates with me .
Daddy never had time to come support me .
Daddy never had comforting words for me .
Daddy never had enough love for me .
And Mommy always apologized , I hated  it when she apologized.
As if she knew Daddy would hurt me or that daddy would give up on me .
Reality is that it was never her fault .. or my fault .
Now I'm growing and flourishing and daddy wants to come around .
like maybe the last couple of years weren't convenient for him and he expects me to believe he'll get it right this go around .
But "daddy's little girl" is all grown up now
There's nothing daddy can give me or teach me now that mommy hasn't already.
When I needed his steady guidance and consistency , he failed me .
I needed his unconditional love and warm compliments so I wouldn't look for a foolish boy to fill the hole .
I longed for him to respect me enough as his daughter so I'd know it was never okay for a male to disrespect me .
but daddy never did .
Daddy never appreciated me .
Daddy never noticed me .
Daddy never witnessed my accomplishments .
And trust me there were many accomplishments .
As if daddy not being around motivated me to be great .
To prove to him I was worth his time .
So now I'm making a name for myself , and everyone is noticing my talent .. except daddy .
Daddy never cared enough to love me enough .