"it's already done"

how do we wake up, breath, go through our days and completely miss the reason why our lungs even continued processing air in the first place? to sit and remember that not only do we live to spread the gospel but also to be as godlike, christlike, as possible, I realized I've been missing the point of my existence for quite sometime. I'be also allowed my passions to be squandered in the pursuit of money, sex, attention from those I designated simply in the abscense of the one I love. I've trusted strangers and acquaintances with the love I should keep sacred. I should have kept it safe and bonded away as I've hidden my trust from the one I love. As i have also replaced God with the one I love out of selfishness, letting my emotions dictate my destiny rather than trusting what has already been written. I'm so scared that these pains I've has and could possibly encounter in the future won't be worth it. What is fear but another emotion controlling my peace and growth. "it's already done..."