It's Not My Fault

Everyone keeps staring at me My belly swells and my feet hurt I didnt ask for this change I didnt ask for this experience stop staring at me please judging me in your head whispers in the shadow of my back It was my choice to keep it I opened my legs and now Im stuck It was only once He said he loved me They always say they love you He was different but no different enough He left the moment he knew I'm alone Mom is dissapointed Dad was never here I wish someone would have told me it would be like this I don't have any friends and the stereotype of color still exists 7 months of school, sickness and Isolation I hide and cry as I lay on my back in a cold bed The shower doesnt run anymore I sit in warm water, it doesnt even cover me anymore The radio on the counter, the knife on the floor So many tempting ways to forget this misery but I'm not just thinking of me now I'm not physically alone anymore It's me and it I don't want the doctor to tell me I'll see for myself I push everyday to see that face the unconditional love it will give I will be a mother I will always have haters The mistake is now a blessing Stay strong, I keep telling myself but those faces, looks and loss of words It kills me to know I will never be accepted I'm one of those girls now Mommy said I would be Just like her It's not my fault IT'S NOT MY FAULT! No one taught me, Daddy never loved me Mom did the best she could I'm just like her Another girl who couldn't close her legs Society changed me as it changes the world but the world doesnt love us because we don't love it The beauty of a pregnacy is now a conviction It is my fault to keep a soul