I've Always Wondered

I've always wondered what it means to grow up,

Been told so many times 

That I must learn to measure up.

I used to be so quiet, so afraid of all the signs,

I often pondered how I could I ever be saved from my own mess-up.

Once upon a time I stood and trembled in my boots.

Too afraid to crack a smile, too afraid to speak a word.

I thought I would always be uneasy, thought I could never reach past my roots.

Then I saw a light in the distance, heard the waking call of a bird.

Saw a dance and heard the laughter, the magical sound of flutes.

I pondered what it is that holds me back,

Why could I never reveal the true nature of me?

And the realization holds back my anxiety attack,

There never had been, and never could be anyone you see, 

To hold me back from something I didn't lack.

My anxiety slipping away, my fears simmering down,

I see what I once thought to be a den of lions,

A burning advent of flaming coals and a snickering clown.

But now I see my friends, my family and supporting giants,

And saw that finally I could be myself in this, my old town.

With laughter in my heart, and gratitude in my veins,

I set out out find what it means to be me.

Amidst talking and laughing and all my many refrains,

I see at last my happiness, I know how it feels to be free!

My everlasting joy evermore remains.

I've always wondered what it means to grow up,

Been told time and time again

 I might never measure up.

I used to be so quiet, so afraid of what might have been,

But despite the fear and despite the sadness, I finally know that even I can measure up!