i've spent most of

i've spent most of my life in apathy
often rubbing at burning eyes, 
sleepily staring at fluorescent lights
in windowless classrooms that spark anxiety and agony

now things must be different
or so i am told
for i am to be an adult soon and must prove myself not ignorant,
but i have had no guidance, i bemoan,
on what is important and what is honest
on what i need to help fix with fondness