I’ll Be Better

I hope if I have them, my kids never hear a bite of venom in my voice when I tell them that they remind me of their father. 

I hope they never sit in the bathroom at night feeling blood flow from skin they feel trapped in, 

 

Overwhelmed because they can’t understand what’s going on inside their own mind but the second they see the blood and feel the sting they have something else to think about for a second. 

 

I hope they never feel afraid of asking questions,

 

Of asking for help. 

 

God forbid they find themselves suffering in silence rather than ask their mother for a way out,

 

Because god they’d take anyway out if they knew it wouldn’t hurt anyone else. 

 

I hope they never feel like a stranger in their own mind,

 

So overwhelmed by overlapping thoughts fighting each other by the second to be the focus.

 

The focus that they can never seem to find no matter how hard they try.

 

I hope they don’t feel that their struggles are invalid,

Because I know how it feels to think even when you are at your lowest someone has it worse and you should feel grateful that you aren’t dying.