I’m Sorry

July 15, 2018

i met this amazing guy

he was there for me when I cried

when I was scared

when I was sad

or mad........

but even all through that he still stayed 

one thing I knew is that he couldn’t be there with me

i learned how to love

I learned what happeiness felt like

i showed a different me when I was around him

i could be the me that no one knew about

the person no one had time to get to know

after that we became the closest friends 

we both realized we had feelings for each other 

but it couldn’t work out 

cause we were billions of miles apart

but it felt so real

when I knew I couldn’t have him

i had to make those feelings go away

so I met someone new

i had feelings again

i felt happy 

but someone had ruined my happiness 

cause I could never date

she never let me love

to know the feeling even tho she did 100 times 

so that happiness I had left

it turned to anger 

but that anger got weak and my sadness took over 

it made me depressed 

cause I lost everything I loved

everything I dreamed of

i don’t know what love is anymore 

sometimes I feel like what’s the point of being here

i don’t feel like I belong

the more people you let in your life can just easily walk out

for those who read this......

im sorry if I ever hurt you

if I made you feel this way

cause I regret every bit of it

i now know I messed up

so for that I’m sorry

i don’t know what’s the point of life if it always ends up in pain

so I’m sorry even if I have to say it 1000 times I’m sorry

the guy who made me feel love you not only made me feel that

but you also made me feel special 

I could never stay mad at you

even if I wanted to

i want to say thank you

for making me happy

making me smile every day

being the first one to tell me good Morning 

and the last one to tell me good night 

I should have realized you were the right guy

but I pushed you away

not only you but my feelings for you

i do still have feelings for the other guy even tho I can’t be with him

you probably won’t understand but I hope you do

im sorry for everything 

~ good bye J